School venting

I'm having a hard time keeping up with my classes, especially my online Technical Writing class. t is so insanely frustrating, the professor puts different assignments in different places. Style assignments are in this folder, reading assignments are in that folder, online class discussion posts are in this folder, and I can't even find the folder where writing assignment expectations is located. It sounds organized, but in reality it is not. I wish he would make a list of when things are due, instead of posting the due dates on each individual assignment, so now I have to look at through every folder, at every assignment, and hope I don't overlook anything, which I usually do.

I'm trying to find a way to improve my use of time (she claims, as she blogs at 3am while watching an old Deep Space 9 episode >.<), but its proving harder then expected. Fortunately my boss finally cut back my work hours, which means more time for school.

So, work for tomorrow:
* see math tutor about chapter 8.1-8.5
* review o-chem
* finish writing assignments
* start english portfolio
* review Japanese katakana a-so
* feed the snake. :)

...okay, so that last one is school related, but I've becomed so consumed by school that I fear I've been neglecting poor Khaliyah lately. I have a baby mouse in the freezer with her name on it, I'll feed her tomorrow. I've been considering using a small portion of my PFD and buying another ball python to put in with her. I wonder if she gets lonely.


I have been getting closer with a friend of mine, as I may have mentioned in one of my earlier postings. He has come to mean a lot to me, but I will admit fear. He seems to pursue an ideal of perfection, one that I fear I will not live up to. He worries too much that he cannot please me, that I will get bored of him, even though I doubt I would. Its rather ironic, because I find myself fearing holding the same fears. He's funny, smart, kind, and a geek. What more could a woman want?
I wish he wouldn't worry so much. We keep very quiet about it when we hang out, but there have been a few times, especially when he has had a few drinks, where he is much more talkative about the subject, which makes me feel uneasy, for while I don't doubt the honesty of his inebreated words, I would rather have such conversations while he is sober (he usually doesn't remember the conversations later on). He wants me, and yet he doesn't.

While I would like to further out relationship, more importantly I simply want him to be happy, whether it means I remain his friend, or our relationship evolves into something more. Just as long as he finds happiness.

School looms ahead...

I'm starting to get into school mode.

My classes for this semester are:
- Math (my last one)
- English (also my last one, and a web class as well)
- Computer Science
- Chemistry
- Chemistry Lab
- Japanese I (probably going to be dropped within the first week)
- Zen Buddhism


18 credits in all, and I still plan on keeping my job. Am I insane? I'm beginning to think so.

My dad and I had lunch today. He had to go grocery shopping, so we picked up a bite to eat at the deli and some coffee. He even bought me a type of lotion my doctor recommended I wear to help prevent skin cancer (I'm pretty high risk) and handed me gas money. What a sweet guy.

Afterwards I met up with my mom. I haven't seen her in ages, a month maybe? She wanted to buy me school clothes. The store was having a 50% off sale for school, and I bought a ton of comfy t-shirts, a camosol, and awesome panties. Who doesn't love panties? My style in shirts has always been pretty simple: solid colors, usually black, dark purple, or dark red, (but also pink, green or blue if they're comfy enough.) I rarely buy any kind of pattern shirt unless its cute, funny, or comfy. It's also cheap, all of my shirts today costs $16 or less.

Then came the hard part: bra shopping. I hate bra shopping with a passion. I never find one that fits, and when I do, its usually $60 to $90 bucks. Ouch. My bra size is 34H, which is unusual because its a large bust and tiny waist, so finding a good bra is damn near impossible. Fortunately Lena, who also shares my woe, told me of a great local boutique that specializes in larger bras, and will even special order. The lady who fitted me was awesome, and told me of some great companies that carry my size (Fantasie and Freya). I was sooo excited, this is the first time I've gone bra shopping without ending up in tears afterwards due to frustraition. I now own three bras that actually fit me. I think I'll ask for one every christmas/birthday, after a while I may even end up with a decent wardrobe.
I also bought a laundry basket, which I know sounds weird, but I've been wanting a smaller one for ages. My old one is clunky and huge, and my room is so small that it takes up too much space. Yay for unexciting yet necessary things.

I talked to Dad about opening up a CD account. I have about $3000 coming my way soon, and I want to sit on it for a while and let it grow. He's good with financial stuff like that.

I can't wait for school, I find myself craving to study, to learn. I love learning, I've never been one of those students who hates school. I just wish it wasn't so damn expensive. Next week I'm going to get my text books and supplies, I hope it won't cost too much. Fortunately I have two of the text books from previous semesters.

As The Summer Fades Away.

School starts in three weeks for me, so I've been reading like crazy, trying to enjoy the precious last few moments of free time before diving back into my studies. I bought "Confessions of A Crap Artist" by Phillip K Dick, and Hesse's "Siddartha". I'm still working my way through the Dante Valentine series, which is pretty nifty.

I haven't gotten as much reading done lately, but I have the next few days off, and tend to remedy this.

I decided over the summer I want to learn some basic Japanese and go to Japan in a few years to experience it. I feel so uncomfortable going to countries where I don't know the language, where I get in line behind all the other tourists, and feel as if there is a wall between me and the local culture. I loved going to France because I knew enough French to explore the streets, ask for directions, order a meal, shop in the stores, etc. I hated Italy because I didn't even know how to say hello, so I just followed the tourist groups everywhere, saw all the sights that the tourists are obliged to see, that are set up and preserved for the tourists, and I feel like I missed out on a great deal of culture.
So when I go to Japan, I want to go to Japan, I want to experience it. I want to get lost and eat at little local holes in the walls and crash at cheap motels and hostels, laugh with everyone around me, local and tourist alike.So I looked at the Japanese offerings at the University. It's a popular language to learn here, so the program is pretty good. I can't take any Japanese classes this fall because of my work schedule, but this spring I should be able to figure something out. As I was looking at the course listings, I found out that the Japanese department is offering a Zen Buddhism class, and only had one spot left.
How nifty is that? It is only one credit, and doesn't collide with my work schedule. I was giddy for the rest of the day.

Wednesday

Sony stopped by last night after her tribal class to work on our bellydance choreography. We had a decent start, but gave up after an hour or so. Chereography is a weakpoint for both of us, thats when we usually rely on Ree. It didnt help that I was sick. Sony and I are doing a duet to a song by Ajaja, a kind of mid-eastern pop style, and I'm doing a solo to Minor Swing. I still need to get my costume completely together. While working on my solo, my stomach cramped up. I am sooo out practice. As soon as the tribal workshop is over with at the yoga place, I'm going to take bellydance classes there.

After we gave up, we crashed on the couch with pizza and watched Supernatural. I love that show. We went through 2 whole disks of season two. Just three more episodes to go, and then we'll have to wait until September 4th for season three to come out. It's funny, I haven't watched actual television, with commercials and everything, in over a year. I hate a lot of the trash they put on tv now, as well as the media perceptions of what a woman should look like. But every once and a while, I'll find a show I love: Supernatural, Nip/Tuck, Dexter for good plot, and Family guy, South park, and Futurama for comedic relief.

It was good to have the four of us - Sony, Darren, Z, and myself - get together and hang out. I've realized lately I'm losing friends, not so much that we're drifting apart, but my some friends are at points of their lives where they need to follow their own paths, paths I can't follow. Patty, one of my dearest friends, is leaving as soon as this this Saturday to go to grad school in Oregon. Sony is going to leaving in September to spend 9 months or so in France, Darren is going to be moving away in about a year, and Z probably won't be far behind him. I try not to think about it, but still, it's hard, knowing that in a year, most of your closest friends won't be around.

I would love to travel or study abroad, but can't at this point in my life, I have to get through more of my education first. While I wouldn't mind taking a semester or so off to study abroad, I can't until at least 2010. I want to wrap up my pre-req classes and have a good portion of my degree-related classes finished before I think about taking time off for travel. I would love to go back to France, or volunteer in India or Nepal.

My dad is pulling an all-nighter at his office to catch up on the work he left behind on vacation. I think I'll go visit him.