I wonder....

2:17 AM.
As I log on, my Google account informs me that "pusillanimous" is a synonym for cowardly, Congress repealed the HIV travel ban, the importance of awareness, and that our waning cresent moon is 12% full.
Kudos for technology.

Work was peaceful enough, I finished closing up half an hour early, so I sat in the kitchen and read until it was time for me to clock out. Usually I would have just left, but lately I've been trying to stay the full shift, even when I'm finished, just for those few extra dollars that I can stretch until they cry.
That's me, financial sadist, dictator of frugality, pennypincher champion.
Until I see something shiney that I can't live without.
Then all hope is lost.

I stopped by Darlene's, feeling the need for a social life. Darren is still moody, and the amount of negative energy he expels can be terribly depressing at times. I try to be paitent, but it is trying at times. I wish he would act like an adult and talk about what is buggin him instead of glaring and giving silent treatments. At least he is talking now, I'm thankful for that.
I need to get out, either to the studio for yoga and dance, or some other hobby, anything. Someplace to escape when my own home is not a welcoming place.

I arrived home to my usual dinner of oatmeal and afterwards a nice long relaxing bath. I finished the second book in the Dante Valentine series, and started the third this evening. Afterwards I finally got around to rearranging my room. Its not perfect, but considering the tiny amount of space I have to cram a futon pad, two bookshelves, a set of plastic drawers, and the space-consuming papasan chair, it is better then the previous arrangement. I can open my closet door now :)
I think when I have some spare change, I'll buy a Buddha statue for the little makeshift alter I have on top of the smaller bookshelf. A daily reminder of the middle way he taught.


My navel piercing is angry. Meh. Of all my piercings, this is definately my least favorite, stupid finicky little thing.

At work today I found myself drifting off in thought a lot, especally during the slow periods. I wonder what life will be like without Sony for a whole year. I wonder if I'll be able to forgive myself for leaving Z, I wonder if Darlene will change after she gets married, I wonder if I'll be fortunate enough to have coffee and tea with Christian again, I wonder if I'll be brave enough to jump at the opportunity of a better job, I wonder if I'll ever be owned by a dominant again.

Time for sleep.

A few of my favorite things.

Things that make my life happy.



Khaliyah, my baby snake. I love snakes, and have always wanted one, so when I moved out, I saved my money and bought her. She is the best pet ever. I hope to get another one soon, but it will be quite a while until I can afford a companion for her.



Johnny the Homicidal Maniac. I love Jhonen Vasquez's artwork, as well as the black humor and delightful randomness in the comics. I know he probably won't create more, but I wish he would, I thoroughly enjoyed Johnny.



Raves. I haven't been to one in soooo long. But I love them, I find a spot on the floor, snap my glowsticks, and get lost in the music, dancing all night long. Its also a good chance for me to see friends I haven't seen in forever.




Travel. I love to travel. Fortunately my parents shared my obsession and dragged me along. I've been to about a dozen countries, including France, Germany, Sweden, Russia, and Estonia. I took this of the Effel Tour in Paris.



Bellydancing. I freaking love bellydancing. I'm not as obsessed as Sony is, but I love it just the same. I'm going to restart my classes soon to improve my technique in tribal. Dancing is a form of spiritual worship for me, the use of te body to give thanks and express myself. Plus it is a total blast.



Body Modification. I am obsessed. It is very addicting, rather expensisve, yet so beautiful. Right now I have 10 piercings, and am planning on an additional two napes, a pair of transdermals and a few more holes in the ear. Alas, I have no tattos yet (yay virgin skin), but I am planning on some. It will be a couple of years though. My goal is to one day be brave enough to do a suspension.