Shoes and Zen

Well, actually, it wasn't that long at all. It was just really busy at work, busier then I like it to be. I'm getting better about my attitude during rushed and stressful situations, adjusting to it more, but it can still be overwhelming.
I'm thinking about applying for a student position at the university. There is one position that I've had my eye on for quite some time and now I think I will finally fill out the application tomorrow.

I just found out that the guy teaching my Zen Buddhism class is actually the head priest of the Soto Zen community here.
Cool.
I was looking at the website, and I think I may drag myself to a few of the early morning zazen sessions. My current goal is to do two a week during this semester. If I think I can handle more, I will, if it becomes too much, I'll ease up on it. They also have a few evening ones as well :) I never was much of an early bird.

My friend Lara isn't doing well at the moment, shes jobless, broke, and soon, homeless. I offered her my couch until she can get back on her feet. I adore the woman, she's one of the biggest dorks and always makes me smile. I hope life picks up for her.

I found some awesome shoes that I'm going to buy with tomorrow's paycheck. I love shoes, though I'm not one of insanely shoe-obsessed women. I have a pair of well-worn Burkinstocks, my shoes I wear to work, a pair of sneakers for working out it, two pairs of heels, and a pair of knee-high boots. The pair I'm buying tomorrow are comfy all-black converse. I always feel short when I wear all-stars because they have absolutely no heel, but they're so damn comfortable that I don't care. I'm also going to pick up a few more long sleeved t-shirts and some camis while they're still on sale. Huzzah for sales, the salvation of broke college students everywhere. I was going to pick up a bike lock this week too, but there's no rush, so next week's pay can easily cover it.

I want to get into something of a routine this semester. Aside from work, class, and study time, I'm going to try to make it to a few zazen sessions a week, and maybe even yoga at the studio, but if I can't do that, there's always yoga videos until I can afford to go back. And the college gym is free for me, so I might as well use it. I find myself yearning to get involved in life. I'll feel better once I'm in class and learning. I can't wait, even if this semester's classes aren't the most exciting, they will lead to more exciting classes.

Economic frustrations.

The thing that sucks about being broke is that I find myself stuck in the apartment more than I can stand. My job is part time for the moment, so I find myself with too much time on my hands, and a lot of it is wasted in this depression of loneliness I've been dealing with. I've been eyeing a local yoga studio that offers yoga, meditation, and dance classes. I've been there before, for a few yoga classes, and I really enjoyed the atmosphere. I need to get out more, and The Studio is a pretty quiet and friendly place. It will hopefully get back into the habit of meditating more, something I love doing, always forget to do.
I have a love/hate relationship with yoga. I love the way I feel afterwards, but during I feel like a helpless unbalanced klutz. Compared to everyone around me, I feel overweight and awkward, yet I keep doing it because I love watching how I improve, I love how relaxed and happier I am afterwards.
The problem, as it stands, is money. They have a great deal on unlimited monthly classes, but it would take most of my weekly paycheck, which I can't afford to do, unless I feel like going without eating for a week or two. Damn my crappy part time low wage job! (Actually, I am very grateful to even have a job).
Not only are my paychecks small, money is tighter then usual now because of the economy. Me and my room mates are constantly borrowing money from each other more then usual now, and our monthly bills just came in. On top of that, I finally made an appointment next week for an oil change for my car, something I've been putting off since March. I also invited Z to go to the movies this Friday. He's even worse off finacially right now than I am, and he loves the movies. I hope treating him to one will cheer him up.
So:
Oil change - $50
This weeks bills - $20
Movies - $20
Total: $90
My paycheck will be about $120, so that leaves me with 30 for gas and food (a tight squeeze, but managable if I'm clever). I'll try to squeeze $15 of that to take a yoga class this week if I can. I need to get out of this damn apartment.
Sigh.
Fucking economy.
I could always just skip the movies with Z, but I've been wanting to catch a movie with him for the past couple of weeks now. It will make him happy (hopefully).